The last week was filled with well-wishes, hugs, handmade notes from students, and lots of tears. Tears for lots of reasons. Tears of sadness, tears of emptiness, tears of joy, tears of cleansing. Tears have always been a cleansing experience for me. Let me start fresh once the flood had subsided. Kind of the like the beautiful clear morning after a night of torrential rain. I guess that is why I cry for every emotion. Always have. Always will. On top of that, I am an ugly crier. I have always been jealous of folks that can shed tears gracefully. I've always felt that criers should have that trait, it would only be fair.
Saying good-bye to precious fourth grade babies hasn't gotten any easier over the years. Their little innocent faces always left wanting. And their little thoughts bleeding out all over the handmade cards, so fresh and free and honest. What a good place to be. I think that is what I love most about teaching children - their honesty. These are the tears of sadness. Then there is the love and support of the family that surrounds you. The family that wasn't chosen or dreamed of, but instead, pieced or even thrown together my many different administrators. While we all have our own classrooms, no one teaches alone. We rely on one another for support, guidance, counseling, venting, brainstorming, creativity, and building the best school possible. How can you say good-bye to these folks that have been with you through the fabulous times as well as the tough times. It feels like you are leaving them behind, one woman down in a fight for sanity, integrity, and honor.
Then there are the tears for leaving a job that I LOVE. Those are the tears of emptiness. I was a teacher long before I was a mother. I was actually a teacher long before I wanted to admit it all those years ago during college. A teacher is who I am. Not always the best in the eyes of some, yet always trying to do what was best for my children. For I felt they were my children since I didn't have any of my own. I always tried to provide a learning environment that I would want for my own children: tough, open, and honest. A sense of pride and a sense of humor. Characteristics that were actually quite similar to the students in my room. I will miss building that learning environment every year. Maybe someday we will meet up again in a new classroom, creating a better environment, in a school that appreciates innovation, creativity, and something besides a number.
Tears of joy are my absolute favorite tears. When I think of the opportunities that Robert and Emma Grace are going to have over the next few years, it just blows me away. They are going to meet so many different people and get to travel to so many exotic places and take part in a culture that is thousands of years old. I am so excited for them I can't even stand it. We will get to visit places that my father trekked all those years ago during the Korean War. We will get to stand in Tiananmen Square, walk the Great Wall, and see botanical gardens that are hundreds of years old. We will be living in a global community with folks with passports from fifty different nations. What an awesome experience. My children will have stamps in their passports from places I only read about in fifth grade social studies. God's most amazing blessings are the ones we don't see coming. We just have to grab them and go in faith. We are about to partake in one amazing experience. I'm so glad that I can share it with you.
Enough with the tears. Time to get on with this adventure. One more round of shots, waiting to go back to Shanghai to get a house and pick out a school, movers, paperwork, more waiting, and finally getting to embark on an extraordinary chapter in the life of the Wells family. I know my daddy is just shaking his head in disbelief. He never would have dreamed in a thousand years that his little farm girl from Lincoln, IL would have such opportunities. I just wish he was here to take part in this with his grandbabies.
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